How to give sympathy for an illness

Start Here

• Illness is an isolating event. For the person who is ill, they can feel so alone in the pain and worry; and for the person who is well watching their loved one suffer, it can create a sense of lonely powerlessness.

• But with the right words, you can create a bridge between the two countries of loneliness and bring comfort.

Showing Compassion and Empathy for the Unwell

Compassion is not: Telling people to try turmeric, lose weight, exercise more, or any other unsolicited advice. Just don’t — even if it comes from the goodness of your heart.

Compassion is: Getting ice packs for someone, doing a difficult task that might put someone into a flare, or going out of your way to do anything that could “save some spoons.” In other words, real compassion is helping and letting your actions speak louder than words. And it’s OK to ask how to help if you don’t know how but want to.

Also, it’s OK if you can’t help physically offer help. Empathy refers more generally to the ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person. When others are empathetic, it just helps us feel a little less alone.

Empathy is not: Saying “everyone experiences aches and pains” or “everyone gets tired” or “it is what it is.”

Empathy is: Saying “I am sorry” or “I imagine that must be difficult to manage” or “I am here for you.”

Talking Points

Further Reading

How You Can Support Someone with a Chronic Illness (and Some Real Advice on How *Not* To)

When I think back to my life before I had rheumatoid arthritis (RA), I realize I probably said some inflammatory things (no pun intended) to people living with chronic illnesses because I didn't know what it was like to be in their shoes.

https://creakyjoints.org/support/how-to-support-someone-with-chronic-illness/