Acknowledgment is the essential step in giving comfort. Here’s a Golden Rule of communications: “They won’t care about what you know until they know you care.”
Start Here
Important note: The FIRST step in comforting someone is listening. After letting them share their perspective, then you acknowledge their pain.
- When comforting someone, it’s great to commiserate to show connection, but be careful not to spend too much time sharing every detail of your experience. This moment is about them. Oversharing can feel invalidating sometimes.
- Be patient, as those in pain and grief are not in full possession of their rational brains. Active listening, emotion, and empathy are the first steps to getting through to them.
Talking Points
An Excerpt from “The Comfort Book,” by Matt Haig
I hope this email finds you calm.
I hope this email finds you unflustered about your inbox
I hope this email finds you in a state of acceptance that this email isn't exactly important in the cosmic scheme of things.
I hope this email finds your work happily unfinished.
I hope this email finds you beneath a beautiful sky with the wind tenderly caressing your hair like an invisible mother I hope this email finds you lying on a beach, or maybe beside a lake.
I hope this email finds you with the sunlight on your face
I hope this email finds you eating some blissfully sweet grapes.
I hope this email finds you well but, you know what, it’s okay if it doesn't because we all have bad days.
I hope this email finds you reading a really good poem or something else that requires no direct response from you.
I hope this email finds you far away from this email.
