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- Eulogizing a loved one is not as difficult as it seems. Remembering the good things about those from whom we are parted is a good way to manage our own grief.
- The goal of a eulogy is to help loved ones to transition from sorrow to gratitude, if only for a moment, to remember what a gift that person’s life was, to remember why the loss is so keenly felt.
- Begin with attributes - courage, loyalty, kindness, gentility, intelligence, sense of humor, grace, generosity, etc. Talk about how other lives were touched by those qualities.
- A humorous anecdote helps lift everyone’s heart and provides relief. Sharing a memory not well known outside of a small circle helps others to realize the value of the person being eulogized. Talk about how that person interacted with others, performed in their profession, or approached avocations and outside interests. Paint a memorable picture.
- A person dies twice. Once when his heart stops, and again when he is forgotten. Write a memory that will be worth keeping.
When my grandmother died, the eulogy I remember most:
“She made every person in the room smile just by walking into it.”
True. She really did. Therefore the most important element in a eulogy should be truth. We’re all human, we all have less than shiny parts, but the grieving aren’t interested in other grievances. Focus on the positive, the charming, the endearing, and be authentic.
One of my uncles was a character - not particularly generous and not especially likable. But he was hilarious with the antics he’d cause. Mischief and mayhem, we embraced those twin horns of the dilemma in that eulogy. We talked about how he taught us the strength in individualism, and how to laugh at the absurdity of situations. There are silver linings.
- Put your own personal stamp on your eulogy, your own experience, and your own conclusions. Be true to your subject, and true to yourself.
Powerful Examples (grab those tissues)
