“I’m upset right now and need a minute to calm down.”
“I love you, but I’m angry with you right now.”
Start Here
- Don’t say, “I’m fine,” if you’re not.
- If you’re mad, that’s okay. Anger is a perfectly acceptable emotion - it’s what you do with your feelings that matters.
- If someone upset you and you need to tell them, use this guide.
Talking Points - I’m Mad
- I’m mad.
- I’m angry.
- I’m upset.
- I’m furious.
- When you <behavior that upset you>, that made me feel <how it made you feel>.
- I understand that you didn’t think it would be a big deal, but I need you to understand how I feel right now.
- I love you, but I’m hurt by what happened.
- I’m hurting, but I still love you.
- I’m really upset by what happened and I want to talk to you about it.
- <Name>, I think we need to clear the air. Will you let me know when you’re up for it?
- What is your preferred location and time to have a much-needed, albeit tense, unpleasant, and emotional conversation?
- Listen, I’m still really upset about what happened. It’s going to be okay, but I still want to resolve it with you. Can you talk?
Talking Points - I Need Space/Time to Think
- Can we talk about this later after I’ve had time to gather my thoughts?
- I don’t have the energy to respond to you right now. I will respond when I can.
- I need space right now and will reach out when I’m ready.
- I need to calm down before we continue this conversation.
- Let’s continue this conversation when we’ve both had time to process.
