How to ask someone about suspicious behavior without accusing them of it

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  How to call someone out respectfully

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  How to encourage someone to answer your question instead of saying, “I don’t know”

Start Here

• So you’re suspicious that someone’s been up to some chicanery, eh?

• You may not have proof — or enough proof — and you want to give them the opportunity to say something.

• Your tone should be light and positive. Give them the impression you couldn’t possibly believe they had done something wrong. You’re just trying to solve a problem.

Talking Points

• Hi, <name>, I wanted to ask you about <whatever it is you’re suspicious of>.

• <give them a moment to speak>

• Look, to be clear, I’m not suggesting anything. It’s just that <brief summary of why you’re suspicious>.

• <if they’re not answering, use a pregnant silence to pressure them to fill it by answering>

• Please understand, I’m not suggesting anything other than the appearance of impropriety…

• <if they still don’t answer, you must either accuse them then and there or walk away from the conversation>